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Mini-lesson Monday: Student Writing as Our Mentors for Sentences

I read Learning by Teaching by Donald Murray this summer, and I finally understand the importance of using student writing as the main text in my writing class. While I’ve believed students can learn from

I lurked on this chat. Many positive examples of learning from student writing.

I lurked on this chat. Many positive examples of learning from student writing.

reading one another’s work, and I’ve often asked them to read and give feedback — on drafts and published pieces — I’ve never thought to actually use the text to teach a concept. I don’t know why. I supposed I’ve always relied on mentor texts by The Pros for that.

I am changing my tune. Here’s a bit of a lesson that worked better than I could have imagined.

Objectives:  Using the language of the Depth of Knowledge levels, students will write about their lives, and share their writing. They will recognize a wide variety of sentence structures. They will identify patterns, devices, and/or figurative language and discuss its effectiveness in creating meaning. They will revise their writing, formulate their own sentences, and apply their understanding to future writing assignments.

Lesson: Project the image, and ask students to write in their writer’s notebooks one sentence that answers the question. Remind them about what they know about various sentence structures and how punctuation works within a sentence.

“We can pack a sentence with a lot of information if we punctuate it correctly. Pay attention and see how you do. You can write any sentence, but try to not write a simple one.”

Give students about five minutes to write.

Next, ask for a couple of volunteers who are willing to write their sentences on the board. Be sure they understand that there is no judgment.

“We just want to talk about sentences.”

While two or three students write their sentences on the board, ask the other students in the class to read their sentences to each other.

one sentence

One at a time, read the student sentences on the board. Ask:  “What do you notice?”

Ethan sentenceTalk through the various comments students make, noting parallels, punctuation, clauses, word choice, etc.

Watch for teaching points. Ethan’s sentence on the left gave us a lot to talk about:  parallelism, use of semi-colons, colons, …

Next, ask students to return to their notebooks. “How can you make your sentence better?”

Allow time for revision (and time permitting, more sharing.)

Why this lesson works, especially for a writing lesson at the beginning of the year:  It’s just a sentence!

And sometimes we get a bonus gift like this one my class got from Edward:Edward C sentence

“I am the guy who picks people up when I, myself, am down; I am the guy who cares so much over things so little; I am the missing piece to a puzzle that has been forgotten; I am now by a sad and quiet shell of my former self; I am Edward Campos.”

The class hushed. All eyes turned to Edward.

“Wow,” I said, “Thank you for sharing this writing today. You’ve made yourself vulnerable, and we value that.

“First of all, we need to know that you are okay. Will you explain a little more what you mean here?”

Edward explained that he used to be fun and outgoing. He felt strong and powerful. Then at the end of last year and over the summer he learned his friends weren’t really his friends so much. Now, he feels alone and like he’s not the person he used to be.

“Hey, everyone, how many of you have ever felt like Edward?

“Look around, my friend, do you see all those hands? Everyone here has been where you are. We understand. You have new friends here.”

Two girls at Edward’s table leaned forward and touched his arm. “We’ll be your friends,” they said smiling.

And he smiled back.

Of course, because I am me — and I never leave a teaching moment untapped — we talked about the structure of Edward’s sentence. And we talked about the word choice:  “Why ‘forgotten’ instead of ‘lost’?”

When we watch for teaching moments in student writing, we will find them. Every single time.

Follow up:  In class the next day we did some free-writing in our notebooks in response to the spoken word poem “Hands” by Sarah Kay. Before we wrote I reminded students to pay attention to their sentences. Then instead of sharing the whole of what we wrote with the class, we only shared our favorite sentence. I consider this valuable formative assessment.

Now, I will hold students accountable for crafting their sentences with care in their upcoming writing assignment.

“The words of the world want to make sentences,” said Gaston Bachelard. I say, “We have to help them.”

Please share your best tips on getting students to pay attention to their sentences.

 

©Amy Rasmussen, 2011 – 2015

 

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7 thoughts on “Mini-lesson Monday: Student Writing as Our Mentors for Sentences

  1. […] week I posted a mini-lesson about using student sentences as models for writing. Katie Bills-Tenney left this comment. And I […]

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  2. shanakarnes September 9, 2015 at 4:58 am Reply

    Ahhh, what a gorgeous lesson. I love the mini-lesson itself, but I also love the Moment Edward got to have with the class. What a way to combine building a community with falling in love with language and playing with all of those elements of writing we English teachers love–structure, word choice, punctuation, and how to make them all work for us as writers.

    Love this. Wish I could be a student in your amazing classroom.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. katieswrite September 8, 2015 at 6:02 pm Reply

    I’m a novice on the road to using mentors, but I love teaching rhetorical devices to get my students to pay attention to their sentences. The key, I have found, is getting them to use them for a purpose. Tomorrow we will learn about creating parallel structures using chiasmus, anaphora, and epistrophe. They will then write a short inspirational speech to an audience and purpose they select and use all three rhetorical devices. The speeches are hilarious and effective because their style choices are so focused.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amy September 8, 2015 at 6:18 pm Reply

      Katie, this “writing with a purpose” is so important. I would love to read some of your students’ work when they are done. Would you consider writing a guest post and sharing your lesson with some student work? We’d love that at TTT.

      Liked by 1 person

      • katieswrite September 9, 2015 at 6:50 pm Reply

        I’d love to! They are sharing tomorrow, so I’ll have some of their favorites by this weekend. The audiences and topics were hilarious–I love when they become so passionate!

        Like

  4. Amber Counts September 7, 2015 at 9:39 am Reply

    Amy, thank you for sharing this lesson. I look forward to using this method as we workshop college admission essays!

    Liked by 1 person

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